BDSM Guide

0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Chronic Masturbation

In sexology, chronic masturbation is defined as an addiction to masturbation to such an extent that self-gratification is preferred over sexual contact with a partner, whether or not it involves intercourse. In the context of BDSM, the term characterizes the behavior of a submissive or slave who is unable to control their sexual impulses and who uses every opportunity to masturbate despite the lack of permission from their Dominant partner.

Outside of the scenography of some BDSM practices related to sexual control, chronic masturbation is one of the most underestimated problems in BDSM, which is exacerbated by the nature of the relationship between the partners and their formal inequality. On the one hand, in the usual D/s and M/s relationship, the interaction between the partners rarely involves sex or is primarily aimed at satisfying the sexual needs of one of them, most often the Dominant partner. On the other hand, D/s and M/s relationships are highly sexually charged, even when they don't involve sex; obeying the Dominant partner's will, following commands, enduring pain or humiliation, experiencing sensory deprivation (see bondage hood), and wearing certain clothing (see fetish clothing) are strong sexual stimuli for the submissive, often leaving them in a state of hyperarousal with no other possibility of achieving sexual satisfaction than through masturbation. While most Dominants allow masturbation under certain conditions (most often as a reward for their submissives or slaves), the tendency in most D/s and M/s relationships is to purposefully limit it as an expression of supremacy and a form of control.

The prohibition on masturbation in the absence of accessible methods of achieving sexual satisfaction forces many submissives and especially slaves to resort to attempts at hidden masturbation, initially accidentally, after a particularly intensive BDSM play in which they were once again deprived of orgasm, and subsequently fairly regularly, with increasing frequency, taking every opportunity to escape their Dominant's control. The need to conceal acts of masturbation, which would otherwise lead to the imposition of punishment, leads to the gradual alienation of the submissive from their Dominant as an intimate partner and to their falling into chronic dependence on masturbation as a sure source of sexual satisfaction.

A traditional means of counteracting chronic masturbation in BDSM is the application of physical restraints. Especially popular are different types of chastity devices such as chastity belts (for men and women) and chastity cock cages (for men), whose main function is to physically limit access to the genitals and hence the submissive partner's opportunities for hidden masturbation.

In cases of chronic masturbation, the use of chastity devices is rarely effective. Most chronic masturbators constantly test the capabilities of their devices and relatively quickly find a way to continue their illicit habit despite physical limitations.

A possible solution, both as a prevention and as a countermeasure to already-developed chronic masturbation, is the submissive partner's habituation to control masturbation under the direct instructions and immediate supervision of their Dominant.

There are Dominants who are consciously attracted to chronic masturbators and the possibility to use their sexual behavior to engage them in various Dominance & submission scenarios related to discipline, verbal humiliation, and sexual control (see Masturbatrix).

However, the best solution to chronic masturbation is prevention. Conversations and open communication between partners about individual aspects of the relationship can reduce the risk of mutual alienation, but this alone is not enough. It is necessary to work on the psychological attitude of the submissive, their understanding of the meaning of sexual restriction, and the need to learn to derive psychological satisfaction from the inability to obtain sexual release.

It must be clearly explained to the submissive that there are not only sexual needs but also a Dominant partner who decides which of these needs he will satisfy and which he will suppress, and that this is the basis of the relationship they build together.

The frustration of the submissive with the lack of sexual pleasure and orgasm should not be ignored but channeled in a positive direction. The submissive must understand that the suppression of sexual needs is not an expression of their Dominant's disinterest, but a necessary element of the development of the relationship. Discussing and voicing support for such physiological effects of the suppression of sexual desire as heaviness in the groin, blue balls, night pollution, wet dreams, etc. would further show the submissive that he is not alone in his dissatisfaction but has a partner who understands him, supports him, and respects the sufferings he endures in the name of the relationship.