BDSM Guide

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Blue balls

"Blue balls" is a colloquial term used to describe the annoying, uncomfortable, or painful sensation that men may experience in the genital area, especially the perineum and testicles, during prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation or orgasm. The term is often used in BDSM to denote a state of the passive partner (submissive, masochist, chastity slave) that has been deliberately induced by the active partner (Dominant, Master/Mistress, Keyholder, Masturbatrix) and which will often be ignored as a claim or used as a form of control.

The physiological basis of "blue balls" is related to the accumulation of blood in the genitals during strong sexual arousal. When a man is sexually stimulated, never mind physically or mentally, blood vessels in the pelvic region dilate, allowing more blood to flow into the genitals, including the corpora cavernosa of the penis, testicles, and prostate. This increased blood flow results in the engorgement of these structures, a physical sensation of arousal, and an erection.

If the sexual arousal lasts too long and does not culminate in orgasm and ejaculation, the accumulation of blood in the genital region may persist, causing a lingering feeling of heaviness, pressure, and a dull ache in the testicles. The discomfort and pain associated with "blue balls" are generally temporary and not considered a serious medical condition that requires medical intervention. The body typically regulates blood flow over time, and the discomfort subsides unless new stimulation ensues in the meantime to interrupt the process.

Many Dominants know this and skillfully use it to control their submissives. Alternating physical and mental stimulation with moments of rest, they are able to keep their submissive partner in this tense state for hours. By not allowing the blood to completely withdraw from the genitals and not allowing orgasm, they are able to make the arousal of their submissive partner extremely painful and excruciating.

This aspect of BDSM is often part of sexual control scenarios, such as orgasm denial, tease, and denial, edging, or chastity play, where the Dominant partner exercises direct control over the submissive partner's sexual pleasure and sexual release.

In these and other cases, bringing the submissive partner to a state of blue balls may be a side effect of the state of prolonged hyperarousal that the Dominant uses to raise the stakes, but there are cases where the Dominant deliberately seeks to provoke this state in order to heighten the feeling of helplessness.

Very often, various techniques are used for this purpose, such as tying the penis and balls or using rubber rings in their role as blood flow restrictors in order to prevent blood from withdrawing from the genitals and creating a feeling of tension and pressure. Other Dominants, who are more experienced in controlling physiological responses, skillfully alternate warm towels and ice to intensify or alleviate the feeling of "blue balls." Contrary to popular belief, applying ice to the penis, testicles, or perineum does not provide relief, as the cold constricts the blood vessels, making it difficult for blood to drain from the genitals.

Most men do not like the feeling of blue balls, while others, especially male submissives who have been subjected to various forms of sexual control, learn to enjoy it. Some accept it as a necessary part of the control exerted on them, while others tend to beg and humiliate themselves in order to gain release. Dominants who play "blue balls" usually are looking for just this effect. However, some submissives tend to resort to impermissible masturbation after the scene is over, and if the Dominant does not exercise the necessary follow-up control, these submissives can easily become chronic masturbators.

There is one particular group of men who are leather, rubber, and PVC fetishists that put on fetish clothing and wear it for hours, enjoying the sensation of hyper-arousal it brings them. For some of them, the state of prolonged arousal leading to the feeling of "blue balls" is directly related to the pleasure that wearing the fetish clothing gives them. Some of them masturbate to orgasm, but others deliberately refrain from release, letting the sensation of "blue balls" remind them of the pleasant hours they've had in leather, rubber, or PVC.

Despite the common perception reinforced by the name "blue balls," there is rarely any change in the color of the testicles with this condition. An indicator of its occurrence is the feeling that the man experiences. Some Dominants who play for blue balls claim that the testicles darken and become hard to touch. This can be an indicator of intense arousal or even an impending ejaculation, but it is not a sure sign of a blue ball's condition.

The condition of "blue balls" should not be confused with some traumatic conditions of the testicles caused by blows or other types of forceful effects on them, e.g., in CBT and others that may be related to internal injuries. In such cases, medical help should be sought immediately.

The state of "blue balls" is directly related to male physiology. In women, prolonged arousal without release can lead to increased blood flow to the pelvis and genitals, leading to heaviness in the buttocks, labia swelling, and a hypersensitive and even painful clitoris. This effect, reminiscent in its physiology and manifestations of "blue balls" in men, can be more prominent in some women than others. Women often comment on it among themselves without calling it a certain way.